Saturday, October 30, 2010

candy debate

Here's a kindred spirit hyperbole-heavy blogger I can relate to - The Top 5 Worst Halloween Candies.

I do have some bones to pick with the author, however.  Get it?  Bones...halloween ...hardy har.

5.  Butterscotch discs - yes, these are gross.  But, he considers butterscotch a suitable flavor for puddings and such, to which I still say barf-a-rama.
4.  Wax bottles - I don't have much experience with these, but I seem to recall chewing on waxy lips or something as a kid and finding it strangely satisfying.
3.  Candy corn/pumpkins - not altogether loathsome.  Not somethin' to hand out to trick-or-treaters, but I think they're acceptable as a once-a-year candy dish item.  He says to hand out jawbreakers instead, even the cheap ones.  No.
2.  Tootsie Rolls - mostly agree.  Real chocolate doesn't masquerade as taffy.  The fruity ones are good though.
1.  Peanut Butter Taffy - yeah, I didn't like getting those.  But they're not straight from hades or anything.

Some dentists give kids a buck a pound if they surrender their candy to them.  This is horrible, and not just 'cause it's a ripoff.  Let kids have one day to OD on candy for pete's sake.  Besides, it's like saying 'Here, you poor child/military person/homeless man, you get cavities.'

2 comments:

Chris said...

Don't forget about bit-o-honey, or those weird orange things shaped like peanuts.

Nate said...

Yeah, bit-o-honeys are bad too. Here is my bad list:

5. Candy corn/pumpkins
4. Cinnamon Disks (guilty of giving a few out myself this year as part of a mixed bag of hard candy we had)
3. Bit-o-honey
2. Almond Joy/Mounds
1. Kind of cheating here but any non-candy / non-toy handout like toothbrushes or pamphlets that ask if I know if I'm going to heaven.