How do you cook a turkey?

Each Kindergartner in Nicky's class was asked this age-old question.  He came home with a booklet of their answers.  I assume it's kosher for me to share some of them here so long as I don't identify the kids (except my own kid, Nicky):

"You buy it at Walmart.  Cut it or something.  Maybe put it in a pan.  Cook it for a short time."

"First you need to shoot the turkey.  Bring it home and make it hot.  You put some vegetables all over it, and that's how you make the turkey."

"You put it in the oven and then you let it cook.  Like 3 minutes.  You get it out and let it cool off and then you eat it with, like, some fruit."

"Like, if there was someone that died and get the skin from them and put that on the turkey.  Cook it.  Serve it with mashed potatoes."

"You get one at the grocery store.  Cook it.  Put it in the microwave.  I don't know how long.  You eat it.  But I don't eat chips except on a special day.  But Thanksgiving is a special day."  - Nicky a.k.a. Dominic

"Make a chicken wing instead.  Buy 7 chicken wings.  Cook them in the oven for 9 minutes.  Serve apple cider.  Maybe a little pumpkin pie."

Happy Thanksgiving y'all.